I beg your Silence

Prologue

I was on the verge of posting a new blog sometime this week, I did manage to come up with the rough draft for my next post, however certain events have spurred me to push my new post a little further, and squeeze this forgettable piece of writing. Read On

My mom was rather surprised to see me awake @ 8 AM this morning (30th August), no wonder it was the weekend; I was supposed to catch up with the most awaited movie for a long time now; ROCK ON. Some of you might ask me, how I could even think of watching a Saturday morning show, for which I have no answer.

May be i should serioulsy think it is worth wasting your precious saturday morning time, in a multiplexer with people around you behaving the way they would in their own bedroom, loud and boisterous chatting, passing comments (the ones that don’t even evoke laughter) hooting/screaming at the worst appropriate time.

Before I start sounding like a grumpy senior citizen who has got a problem with everything that youngsters do, let me clarify stance on this, for people who know me personally, well I am not somebody who would let go any opportunity of having fun, irrespective of where I am. However I am seriously perturbed with people who fail to realize the fact that, having bought the tickets for a show alongside hundred other people doesn’t make you the owner of it. You have every right to enjoy the movie, but not at the expense of the rest of the crowd, who are entitled to have their fair share of fun.

You are well within your rights to chat up with your friends, I mean that’s the whole idea of watching a movie with your friends/family. I fail to understand why people forget the concept of whispering, while they remember Giggling (for no reason).

Not only are the silent onlookers irritated to the core, but also are helpless as they do not want to further add to the existing chaos, not to forget those rare specimens like me, who do stand up and ask people to shut up, only after making sure that we outnumber or out-power the idiots.

It is all about the timing and the movie, I have most certainly do not have problem with people doing all of that in a YashRaj or Karan Johar entertainer, or for that matter a RGV horror-turned-comic like Phoonk (Let me not get started again). But imagine doing it in a house full show during a emotional scene outbreak or a serious conversation. Firstly you giggle away to glory and secondly you turn to you friend next to you saying “What did he say ? Kya huva ? Kya huva ”. God Dammit you are in a movie hall, which doesn’t have the luxury of pause/rewind/play.

My outburst is incomplete without a take on cell fone users with annoying ringtones, Imagine a Sathiya or Reshammiya ringtone played in the movie hall is the most unromantic and annoying thing.

Not to forget people who go on and on and on with their ridiculously lame conversations on the weather outside, the recipe for tonight’s dinner, bitching bosses. I fail to understand who is the bigger idiot out of the two, the on the phone in the theater or the one outside.

For people who still disagree with me, well may be you should be asking questions to yourself, if all the chatting, giggling, hooting is all worth it especially after investing couple of hundred bucks. It may not be about the money, but its about the value of money.

I do respect people who use SMS, but I am still not convinced when I see peoples faces lit up in blue, trying to find something intresting in a 2 inch screen, when you have slightly bigger one right infront of you. I do realize the importance of cell phone during emergencies, but if you were anticipating something importance, you shouldn’t have been in the theater at the first place.

I am certainly not here to list down Movie Hall Etiquettes, the problem has never been about awareness, it has always been about arrogance. Arrogance in the name of the great Indian democracy. I am just hoping that theaters owners would crack the whip, by introducing something or the other to bring back the whole joy of movie watching.

For a change we can try.

1) Mobile Phone Jammers (Urgent calls is no excuse. In case of emergency try reaching the Theater HelpDesk)

2) Bouncers – Its high time we introduce those terrorizing species with close to human resemblance. (for a change female bouncers would make a lot of sense ;)

Probably something more practical Idea would be to sponsor popcorn to those chatterboxes to keep them busy munching on something edible, rather our brains. (I tried it, and it works)

PS: The opinions of this blog reflect the views of the author over a period of time, It has nothing to do with a particular incident or an individual. Any resemblance of any sort is purely unintentional, but that doesn’t mean it is not aimed at you.

Extension to the Post. (posted on Sept 1st)

I always thought that the world has run short out of critics, but they proved me wrong, I managed to wake up most of them with my last post. Seeing the overwhelming reactions ;) No wonder I decided to extend my post.

I must admit that i haven't expected this kind of response, not that i was hoping people to sing in chorus with me and my opinions, however I seriously fail to understand a few things here. The most interesting observation out of this, is the fact that, most of us do read between the lines, we only manage to see what we want to see/read. Its surprising that most of the people taking a shot at the concept of cell Phone jammers concept, but failing to acknowledge the fact that conversations/ringtones were annoying. May be there is small guilt that pricks people from doing it. I am forced to believe that the word “Timing” in my post might have been invisible to most people.

What is even irritating is, people accusing me of having grown too old or acting grumpy on one hand, and failing to relate to the humour expressed in the post. Come On guys....Lady Bouncers is got to be a joke, which seriously puts me in a doubt on who is 25 and who is 55.

Also the fact that on most occasions, the trend is set by the first few people who comment, (no I am not accusing the rest of them getting swayed), Not the opinions but the tone/mood is set buy the early birds, who could have taken the path of humour but took the serious one, which now i feel was the right one.

(Look at the comment of one of the person who disagreed to my post in public and said this in private)

Anonymous: haha ... Honestly I know what its like

One b****h sitting behind us narrated the whole bloody story to her BF who came in 40 mins late to this movie we saw a while back. 20 min of constant, non-stop yapping

The most disappointing thing of all has to be the personal accusations(even from people who knew me from close quarters), of showing off, my stupid principles, trying to be diplomatic, and all the over-reaction, asking me what to google and what not too, taking things too personal which was absolutely unnecessary. As someone proposed an idea of adding disclaimer to each comment, May be I should add a disclaimer after each sentence.

I still do not regret posting something like this, you won't agree to this until it happens to you :p

Trust me; before it happens to you

Prologue

Well, I quite managed to make a come back of sorts, and was happy to see one more than half a dozen comments on my previous post. Well I surely deserve a pat on my back ;). So I have decided to continue my journey in the quest to become a versatile blogger. So it’s no more philosophy and no more cricket, well that doesn’t leave me with much of a choice, so I have decided its going to be bollywood this time. You can’t blame me for my lame thinking.

I am certainly not a bollywood basher, someone who hates the songs, running around trees, the melodrama, the emotion, the action (I could go on). Well I love bollywood as much as I love Hollywood, Its just that certain movies leave some impressions on you, that you occasionally tend to become judgmental and quick to shift loyalties.

Without wasting much of your time, Let me get straight to something, which has left an impression on me, an impression of a different kind. The most talented yet confused director RGV. I thought I would not do this, but the hype surrounding his latest movie Phoonk, and the very fact that, I managed to catch yet another RGV movie on the very first day couldn’t stop me from choosing to write about this consistently inconsistant Director-Writer.

I have come across countless blogs, interviews, articles, where RGV has been bashed, sometimes unpardonable, unethical, unsympathetic and ruthlessly by so called film critics, Well a bad movie attracts criticism, but with RGV criticism comes from all corners, Professional Critics, Amateur bloggers, my neighbor who watches a movie once in 6 months (that too a RGV Movie), colleagues, office boys…….RGV commends that kind of admiration, only which our crickets were used to for many years now..

I keep thinking about this time and again, like most Indian movie-buffs, on RGV’s consistently inconsistence approach to film making. How can a same person come up with movies like Company & Sarkar on one-hand and movies like Aag & Phoonk on the other. It is understood & obvious for artistes to fail occasionally; but they fail with grace, with stature, (in cricketing terms – Form is temporary; Class is permanent) however when RGV fails, he makes a fool of himself. That's what makes it so difficult to understand him. But it is worth trying, rather than ridicule and bash him up.

TRIVIA: Ram Gopal Varma becomes the first director in Hindi cinema to have three releases in three successive months in the same year. Sarkar Raj released in June, Contract in July and Phoonk in Aug 08

I am amazed at the speed at which RGV churns out movies out of his FACTORY is no less than the speed at which a refilling unit refills Soft drink bottles. The end result is Phoonk, the movie vanishes without a trace at the box office (this is no black magic)

People attribute this to RGV’s egoistic nature, (read his blogs/interviews), lack of vision, too many movies, some call him a psycho, and some call him a fool. The question is, “Who is a fool here?” Well the answer is simple and unanimous.

RGV is someone who has the vision to predict the outcome of a movie halfway into the production, and yet would not make any effort to change things, not because he is incapable of; but because he doesn’t want to. Yes, RGV is highly intellectual individual who not only knows to make movies, but also knows how to make mistakes and more importantly when to make them. Any of his half a dozen Underworld/Horror movies have not cost him more than 5 Crore of rupees. (Considering Sarkar Raj is a 30 Crore Movie)

A newcomer/B-Grade actor, half a dozen weird camera angles an old abandoned house, with a dozen chase sequences and horrific sound effects, a perfect potboiler for an RGV Movie, on which RGV himself has invested the least possible amount of time; because according to him it’s simply not worth it. Yes, it is wise to know where to invest your time and where not to, ditto with RGV. Not every movie is made with same intentions and same passion and same intelligence. Not because he cannot, but because he doesn’t want to. Half of RGV movies made today are out of obligations, obligations of all kinds, Financial Crisis, troublesome careers, boredom, arrogance, irresponsibility, but what we fail to realize is that, with the exception of his disastrous aag, all his other movies have managed to either break even or make marginal profits, (considering the low budgets). Is RGV squandering his brand & goodwill he has earned ? Only time will tell. Until then his movies will still continue to create the hype they normally do, and manage to earn him what he needs ( name, fame, obligations, arrogance, intelligence & Stupidity)

After Watching Phoonk, I certainly realized that I am under no obligation to watch anymore RGV movies, Inspite of answering so many “WHY” Questions, I am still clueless about these from his latest flick.

1) Why did the Dolls/Idols in the movie manage to bag more screen space than the actors ?
2) Why was RGV so stingy while picking the starcast of the movie, and ended up spending more on the idols/dolls, without a doubt I can bet the movie had more idols/dolls than actors ?
3) What was the role of the crow in the movie; male lead? baddie? Guest Appearance? Poor Editing ?
4) Is the maid going to be RGVs next pin-up girl after bagging the maximum screen space, amongst the actors
5) Why were the dream sequences in the movies scarier than the actual ones, (got to do anything with RGVs Nightmares ?)

I wish I could go on……but I certainly do not want to relive those moments.

PS: I truly admire RGV, I respect him for taking Indian Cinema beyond Karan Johars & Karwa Chauths, for getting rid of dancing sequences and ugly item numbers. He has every right to take people for a ride, as he is in the business of film making and cashing in on brand RGV FACTORY. It’s now up to the people and stand up and take those RGV Films seriously which RGV himself takes seriously.

Quarter-Life-Crisis

Prologue

April 29, 2007, it’s been precisely 1 Year 3 Months and 13 days since I last blogged, Time indeed flies in my case it rocketed. Looking back, there were numerous occasions where I was spurred to blog; however, there was some mysterious force that kept holding me back. Nevertheless here I am, to give it another try, to make an attempt to pull people back to my blog. This is nothing close to being a dream comeback, If at all this is anything, it is about an attempt to try wipe out the puff of dust settled on my blog, and probably my rusty brains too.

Looking back at my earlier blogs, I have had my friends ridiculing me for my Philosophy (Ranjan), mocking my self-mocking humour (Vinay) my sarcasm my lack-of-euphemism, well to be honest, It’s been a year and still nothing has changed, here I am with the same Old Wine in the same old bottle.

To start off, It’s a great feeling to come back to my home-town, a one-Year nine- Month stint in Delhi has drained me literally, I was sick of Delhi’s extreme weather (which surprisingly had no rains on its agenda), Having said that, it has been a very good experience professionally, on the personal front I managed to come across all kinds of people and some very good memories that I would carry back, which would just add to my Indian multiethnic experience I was exposed to back in Pune. It happens In Only in India. That reminds me we are standing on the verge of 61 years of Independence, RELAX!! I am not here to blog about India’s RICH History or POOR Future, (Instead like most Indians, I am just concerned about the Extended weekend Aug15-17) so put your doubts to rest.

Coincidentally No actually I choose this, because I am approaching the magic number of 25 in a couple of weeks. Well I am in a definite mood for some deep introspection, but I am definitely NOT going back to re-live all those years and bore you. Instead I am focusing on what future has in store for me.

To most people QLC is just a cliché statement!! May be it is not ! May be it is ! What acted as a catalyst to my idea of QLC is the fact that I just realized that I spent the last couple of weeks attending Birthday Celebrations of my Colleagues/Friends 1-year-old kids. It’s no longer birthday bumps, smearing cakes spraying foams. All of a sudden I find myself trying hard to find the fine line between free-spirited & a matured individual. From attending friend’s birthday parties to attending their kid’s birthday parties, I only wish the transition was smoother that it turned out to be.

What started out as a novel beginning became too embarrassing, Imagine walking into an Archie’s Gallery and hunting for Barbie dolls for a 1 year old kid !! That says it all!!

To add to it, my 24 years of erratic food habits managed to push my BMI index to 26 (overweight), which is threatening me towards obesity; I just realized that it’s been well over 2 years since I involved in any physical activities. Don’t even bother reminding me about the GYM, which has been a dream and would continue to remain so.

Peer Pressure of a different kind, “So when is it going to happen ?” what ? The dreaded 8 lettered work M-A-R-R-I-A-G-E and a U turn, which is atleast 2 years away, however my Aunts (read kith and kin) have other Ideas, only to add to my agony.

All of sudden Inflation seems to pinch you (instead of ur parents), your hopes fall flat along with the Sensex. EMIs, CreditCard bills, ULIP, SIP seem to be part of your new dictionary. Broken hearts, shattered dreams, emotional sabotages (you don’t learn from them do you ?) Trying to adapt to the super cool GEN X dudes who all of sudden make us feel so old.

A Generation’s revolutionary is the next generation’s traditionalist!!

For people who rub this off as Bullshit, and act as if they are not perturbed, God Bless you !! The truth of the matter is if its not here yet, it’s just round the corner. You can run / hide / dodge, but you can’t escape. The truth of the matter is that, I am not as dejected / depressed / disheartened as I sound. It’s just a matter of acknowledging the truth and moving on.

For the moment the only Quarter I am thinking of is a Quarter (desi alcohol measurement unit – Equivalent to 1 snipe or 0.1875 ml) bottle of scotch/whiskey I would have to gulp down to celebrate my QLC

P.S: Inspite of my best efforts my post turned slightly philosophical towards the end, lacked NO Sarcasm (cheers). Well if I didn’t quite manage to impress you with this piece of writing, Read this Version of QLC from some Anonymous user.