Euphemism ???

Epilogue

After my last Blog on the Cricket WC, I decided I would leave the job to the experts like Rajan Bala & Harsha Bhogle, I better be doing what I am best at. Retrospection – reflection of thoughts, theories of life, what’s right & what’s wrong. The idea of throwing your thoughts open on a blog, sounds as gamble to most people, but I have to admit that my most of blogger friends whom I know personally have caught me by surprise with their unique thoughts and certain aspects of life, which we probably would never have discussed face to face.

Euphemism !!! don’t get carried away by the title of the blog, I am not a MA in Literature or Phd in English.


“Honesty is good, but Euphemism was invented for a reason” sounds a philosophical quote by some great individual, not quite, one of my friends from Graduation had penned it for me on my slambook (yeah may sound silly now, but I managed to capture all those Quotes in one of those books). To be honest it didn’t make much sense to me, but then I would like to borrow a Quote from my friend Gajanan who said “You don’t need a book titled ‘1 million copies sold’ to teach you something, a small child can teach you"

For people who have been wondering WTF is Euphemism, I had to google it when I heard it from the first time.

Euphemism

defination: A euphemism is an expression intended by the speaker to be less offensive, disturbing, or troubling to the listener than the word or phrase it replaces, or in the case of doublespeak to make it less troublesome for the speaker.

Antonyms
dysphemism - offensive or merely humorously.
cacophemism - sense of something deliberately offensive.
power word - used mainly in arguments to make a point seem more correct.

Personally I come across as a very straight forward person who is brutally honest, (thought a few people would out rightly deny my claims) and I was very proud of the way I speak to people. I always believed – A hidden truth can cause more damage than a lie.

The key to being successfully is not just Hardwork, dedication, passion or smartwork. Its about knowing where you stand & where you start off from. (sounds philosophical ???)

I always have great respect for people who are realistic in their approach towards life. And I Love making people realize where they stand (yeah as if God has sent me on this planet just for this). So with a great sense of pride I used to criticize people as if it was my birthright to do so. It has gone well with a few people and not so well with others.

I regret occasionally having said something or done something in past, in the name of straightforwardness I have ended up insulting people. Had recieved a fair share of reverse criticism

I didn’t know what politically correct statements were. I screwed up my first job because I didn’t know how to make ‘politically correct’ statements and ended up leaving it in 10 months. Doesn’t mean I have changed much but I have definitely realized the value of sweet talk, glorifying the work you do.

“Truth is always Harsh” & “You learn your lessons the tougher way” may have been significant sayings, which are just confined to books, calenders and desktop wallpapers, but they hold no good in today’s world.

Euphemism has a long way to go…. Let me rephrase it.
Adapt Euphemism If you want to go a looooong way !

There is thin line of difference between Euphemism & Sarcasm, and that’s where I seem to be hanging now !!!

PS: The opinions or views mentioned by the author in this article are definitely influenced by occasional madness/frustration that normally lead to occasional states of retrospection. The readers are hereby warned not to pass funny comments or ridicule the author.

Passion or Compassion???

Epilogue

After my disastrous/embarrassing last post, which failed to evoke any kind of criticism/appreciation, I have learnt a lesson that there is no point in posting a blog ‘just for the heck of posting one’. Every time I run out of ideas I feeling like giving up blogging, but instantaneously lighting strikes and end up penning down my thoughts. Having been ridiculed for my pathetic sense of humor, I have taken a firm decision to exclude humour from my (atleast next couple of) blogs. It’s always a big gamble to write on something as monotonous as cricket. But you sometimes do things for yourself.

Its been a while since India has been Knocked out of the ICC Cricket world cup 2007, which has evoked ire, criticism, sarcasm, dozens of forwards, a couple of commercials; few stupid ones and few humorous ones.

But the commercial that did make some sense was the “Bajaj – Avenger” one.

IND 191 All out
“I forgive the batsman”

BAN 195/5
“I forgive the bowlers”

Indian Team Returns Home
“I forgive the team”

The reason the advertisement was more apt, because we Indians come across as the most forgiving people which was rightly portrayed. (Excluding the last part of the commercial)

After the Post Mortem analysis being done by Ex-Cricketers, TV anchors, BCCI, paanwalas, milkman, the next door uncle who doesn’t know the difference between a night-watchman and a pinch-hitter. Here I come up with my own Post-Mortem report, just because I am an Indian (I am NOT being sarcastic here) and it is so typical of an Indian to have an opinion on any damn issue, in the name of democracy.

As the blame game begins our Ex-Coach - Greg Chappell is among the first people to be victimized, which seems very normal to most people, but once you get into the nitty gritties it is a different story altogether.

So all those people who strongly feel Greg Chappell is to be held responsible … read on….

What was the role/responsibility of Greg Chapel as a coach?

Greg teaching

1) Sachin how to bat
2) Harbhajan how to bowl a doosra
3) Pathan how to bowl the slower one
4) Yuvraj how to dive

The very thought of teaching a maestro who has scored 20,000 International on how to bat sounds silly. It is very obvious that Greg had a different role to play.

The need was/is for a Motivational & Inspirational Individual who played cricket at the highest level. Someone who will not get intimated by the Cricketer’s Demi-God Status and will go to any extent to maintain professionalism and motivate people and get the best out of them. Indians Lack the killer instinct in them (Indians here refers to you and me each one of the billion people)

If Greg has done that or not is a debatable issue, as there is scope for improvement always. But he is not to be blamed for the debacle for sure

I know we are a country of 1 Billion people, but there is No Indian who is fit enough to do this job, because we Indians are basically more of Compassionate people rather than passionate ones.

Talking about passion many such incidents run through my mind, but let me quote this one incident …… "An Indian in Japan standing all alone in the Bus Stop watches a guy zoom past him on a Honda Bike, moments later he takes a U turn comes all the way and parks his bike, he notices a Honda Logo dangling on one of the Honda bikes parked close-by, in a jiffy removes his tool-kit, and starts mending the Logo, the confused Indian asks him if he owns the bike…”I work for HONDA, I cannot see my Company’s Logo dangling upside down” was the reply from the Japanese."

That little incident might have given you goose bumps for a minute, and you quickly say “It just cannot happen in India” and would ridicule the entire episode.

If Greg Chappell holds Virender Shewag’s collar for playing a rash shot at a crucial stage in a match its nothing else but passion towards the game, passion for his job, the passion for winning. That’s the AUSSIE way of doing it. An Indian coach in Greg’s place would have been show compassion instead of passion, even if he had some passion along with compassion he would surely have been intimated by the star status of the individuals in the team.

Indians always come across the most kind-hearted, caring, individuals who spread the message of goodwill, humanity, love, warmth, empathy compared to people from the other parts of the world. It is this very attitude that ties down us making us emotional Individuals who are more compassionate towards fellow beings.

It would be the same people who burnt effigies of cricketers who would rush home early to catch the highlights of the Ind-Ban Series in about a few weeks time.

The point here I am trying to make is;

1) When you have given the authoritative control to an Individual whose nationality is not an Indian, who has put India’s interests ahead of his personal interests and is proud to wear the Indian tricolor on his apparel you better start treating him as an insider and not as an Aussie.

2) Greg has every right to question the attitude of the Indian cricketers, be it Sachin or be it Dravid. When was the last time Sachin scored a Century in the Second Innings of an ODI? The 20,000 runs he has scored may prove the point that he has Talent, but the debate is about his commitment, not his talent.

3) Questioning someone’s attitude doesn’t mean he has to be dropped from the Indian Team. If Sachin has to be dropped, find a suitable replacement someone as talented as him. Only when talents are on par commitment would come into the picture.

4) Easier said than done. Applies to all Ex-Cricketers who always failed to realize that India was never one of the Top Ranked teams over the last century.

5) Everytime we loose a series, we all wake up and talk about the pitches in India, Cricket at the grass root levels, which is true. However none of these things are the reason behind India’s debacle in the Caribbean. Nobody can teamPut bat to ball !!

It is very difficult to balance between two opposite adjectives called Passion and Compassion.

If you are Compassionate - the passionate ones blame you for all the debacles.

If you are Passionate - compassionate people will label you as shrewd.

You can choose to be compassionate or passionate, you cannot force others to choose !!

DON'T BE NICE - BE REAL !!

ps: Now don't ask me which category i fall into

Crisis @ Institution of Marriage

Epilogue

Its been about a month and a half, since my last blog update . I had almost given up the idea of blogging for many reasons, and had began cursing Ranjan (my friend who inspired me to take up blogging). Since my valentine Blog, I had several ideas(My trip to the Taj, India's Dismal show in the Caribbean, Formula 1 without Schumacher) which fortunately/unfortunately couldn't be penned down. I was probably waiting for some kind of wake-up call, but all it took was a quarter dozen people (yeah if your maths is good, 3 is the number) forcing me to re-think. I had to re-think on my style of writing cause it was more humorous (at-least to me), so for the fear of being type-casted as an not so serious writer. So here i come up with a very serious and sober blog.
People who have been close to me must have burst out in laughter, the moment i said marriage, they would associate me with all the fake profiles on BharatMatrimony, ShaadiTimes & Shaadipoint. (I repeat i am not here to ridicule marriage) Infact i myself was not convinced that i should make an attempt, but if K-Jo can make KANK, then anybody on this planet can talk anything !! Fun apart this has been on my mind for some time now (No, No Not marriage, but a post on marriage), if you have been a regular reader of my blogs (i know you wouldn't make the same mistake twice) you would have noticed i had promised to come up with this sometime back. Yeah as if i keep up all my promises.

Its been about a year since i have passed out of SCIT, and our yahoogroups have been flooded with Marriage Invitations, about a dozen have changed their status to 'married' on orkut and another dozen to 'committed' since there is no status called 'genuinely committed'. I still have NO STATUS, just to keep people interested/Guessing and confused. Amidst of all this, One of my close friends from graduation who also happened to be the class topper, got married when he was 23 and is has now turned a proud papa at 24 (April, 2007).

The right age for marriage has up quite a debatable issue today. I have know people who have been struggling to get married in their early 30's and also people who have been forced to get married in their early twenties, people who surrendered tamely, people who turned rebellious, people who preferred their parents happiness over their own, people who felt they are the architects of their own future. With due respects to all kind of people, the point here is NOT, how you get married ? or whom you get married to ? its "When to get married ??"

Graduation at the age of 21, a Masters degree at 24, Then begins the problem "I am too young for marriage", "I need more time to settle down", "I am not matured", "Need to stabilize my professional Career", "Need to earn more money" blah blah blah..... Most guys FAIL to realize when their hairs have turned gray or for that matter have gone bald, not until the kid next door starts calling you an Uncle.. (you would struggle to realize when u transformed from a Cool Dude to an Uncle). Every Marriage ceremony I attend i hear a bunch of youngsters(sometimes i am one of them) gossiping, "its high time he got married", "look at his tummy", but it is the same bunch of youngsters who go on to make the same mistake.

For people who are tooo serious about their careers, it is high time they realize that "Settling down in your career" happens at 60 NOT 30. The sooner you get married the more responsible you become, the quicker you learn to balance your professional and personal life. Career cannot wait, neither can Marriage !! Marriage is luxury which we all can afford - don't wait for it become a necessity/formality. Especially if you are a die hard romantic then let me tell you, romance comes to a screeching halt at 30-32.

There are no age constraints for Love, but Romance has a different meaning at 26 and at 32.

Easier said than one. Life is no less than a roller-coaster ride with ups and downs. We don't live in an ideal world with ideal people. Circumstances are life's biggest obstacles. Not everyone has the luxury of choosing when and whom to get married. Having talked about the right age for marriage. Not marrying at the right age is not the end of everything. I know intellectual people who gave up a career and got married early in life, who don't regret their decision.

Its all about setting your priorities right career, marriage or parents !!! There is nothing called a right or perfect decision. Its always your decision !!

On the personal front, having written so much about marriage, i will have to confess that the idea of marriage even though 4 years away, sounds equally funny to me. So I keep convincing myself to get ready for marriage, and keep telling my friends "I am getting married next year". so that they constantly keep reminding, keep pushing me, and i have been quite successful with it.

"My advice to you is get married: if you find a good wife you'll be happy; if not, you'll become a philosopher." - Socrates.


PS: The views expressed in this article are based on most sections of people in the southern part of India, where people get married pretty late compared to the Northen counterparts. The reason behind this. i can actually come up with a book on that.

vaLAnTinE blues.

Epilogue

Ever since my schooling days, I was famous or rather infamous for running behind schedule, (I tried running behind girls, but was more successful in running behind schedule) every schedule, just like this post is running 2 days behind schedule. The truth of the matter is I never intended to post a vaLAnTinE special blog, however considering the number of people who have asked me about my V-Day plans, I thought this story no matter how pathetic it is, needs to be told.

On the eve of the vaLAnTinE’s day, my roommate (someone who was never constant in Love, but was always constantLY in Love) was composing an SMS to his to his beloved N^th girlfriend in (N² +1) years, had asked me how would to spell vaLAnTinE, as the Nokia’s T9 dictionary failed to recognize the word vaLAnTinE, I was wondering if people would hold the Shivasena responsible this too, and thought to myself that for someone like me who didn’t know how to spell vaLAnTinE doesn’t deserve to have a vaLAnTinE.

My V-day plans were fixed 3 days in advance, yeah for a change I wasn’t running behind schedule, cause my Boss had fixed up my plans this time around, and since he wasn’t running a charity, he delegated the task of meeting two of our clients and discuss probable business opportunities (on a day where I should have been discussing probable valentine opportunities).

I reached office at 10:00 AM in the morning, and got a VERY PLEASANT surprise when I saw a rose on my desk, all those years of waiting had probably paid off…, but soon I started to wonder, if this joy would be a short-lived one, as my office was the last place where I would have looked for prospective valentine opportunities. I rushed to one of my friends who always ridiculed my ‘single’ status, with a moment of pride, and flashed the red rose, and was taken aback to see a similar rose on his desk, and soon realized that there was a similar rose on every desk, and I soon learned that this a part of our HR department plans to make everyone feel important on a special day, which almost spelt doomsday for me. For me this was an insult to injury, every time I hear the word vaLAnTinE I feel pricked by someone who probably wants to remind me of my ‘single’ status.

Even before the incident could sink in, I got whisked away by my sales force to the customers place, on my way, while I was passing through the streets and by-lanes of Delhi, it was the colour red all over the place, I started to wonder if I was suffering from conjunctivitis (that was a pj), by the time I reached the clients place, I got pricked enough and my heart turned numb.

The sales guys did their job promptly and I aided them with some technical inputs, and we almost had the deal bagged (on a day where I should be thinking of bagging hearts), a quick lunch at one of the Restaurants, where we had to fight for a table against the couples who probably were expressing their love, as if they were no tomorrow, or probably if they wouldn’t be together tomorrow. We soon headed to the other client, who was equally impressed with us or rather the proposal we made, and wanted to finalize the deal on the day itself, may be it was auspicious for him; so I was given the onus of drafting a letter of intent/acceptance (on a day where I should have been drafting letters of a different kind).

The ordeal ended and I drove my way back to Gurgaon, hoping the nightmare would soon end in a couple of hours, the moment I reached home, my roomie came up with this idea (which was wonderful according to him) of visiting the nearby malls just to ogle at the females, who were decked up or rather dressed down.

Although my heart had gone numb by this time, I still wasn’t comfortable with the idea of 2 guys hanging out in a Mall on a valentine’s day, the fear of being misunderstood haunted me, and I preferred some lonesomeness to ‘brokeback mountain’-ess.

All though the series of events and the way they mysteriously unfolded were different, the fact that things haven’t changed much, apart from the hope of a turnaround which is as stronger as it was ever before.

If you are a female, you would be curious to know what happened to those roses that were kept on our desks, One of my colleague wrapped them around (about 20-25 of them) a ribbon, and took them home to surprise his wife. I thought to myself what a cost-effective V-DAY!!!

PS: While writing this blog I was thinking of other valentine surprises, like diamonds. The very thought of diamonds reminded me of the Hollywood movie, “Blood Diamond”, which was touching enough to motivate me to give up on the idea of putting on the colored stones (will have to wait and see how long would I stick to my decision)

The Race against RACISM

Epilogue

Although I was always confused about blogging, I was pretty much clear on what topics would be part of my blogs. Having never tried my hands on serious blogging like humanity, ethics, patriotism, for the fear of not being able to do enough justice to them. Here I am to talk about RACISM, just to break a barrier which I created for myself.

SAY NO TO RACISM

Thanks to half a dozen news channels aired everyday, Shilpa Shetty seems to be the only name that would flash across our minds, every time we talk about racism, for the next month or so.

But how serious is racism in India, does it prevails only in the east, are we well equipped to fight against it, is it over-hyped by the media ? are the unswered questions.

Inpite of spending having spent 20 odd years down south (if you call Hyderabad South), Hindi is not an alien language to me, much against the perception of most people in Delhi. However words like “Ghati”1, “Chinki”2 & “Madrasi”3 weren’t a part of my Hindi dictionary until I reached Delhi.

Will someone take the pain of explaining people that, it is not that tough to find fair people in Chennai and not every Mallayalee makes a weird sound while eating, not every Andhrite has pickle 3 times a day, and you get sandwiches and toasts in Bangalore apart from the regular Idli, Dosa, Wada, Uttapam.

And by the way, neither does every Punjabi uses the term “benc***d” twice in every sentence, neither are snakes & reptiles a part of the regular diet of people from the NorthEast, and not every Kashmiri is a militant.

Such perceptions are something that have unfortunately been imbibed into the society, I would definetly want to live in a society without perceptions.

The media (both in India and abroad) have raised a furor on racism about Channel 4’s Celebrity BigBrother show involving bollywood actress Shilpa Shetty who has been been subjected to bullying, allegedly with undertones of racism, by fellow participants Jade Goody, Jack Tweed & Jackiey Budden.

Shilpa’s victory is a mere eyewash, as it highly likely that the result has been tampered by Channel 4, so that victory would be overshadowed the entire racism episode, also considering the fact that they were far more deserving candidates in the form of Jermaine Jackson & Dirk Benedict who managed to stay away from controversies all along the show.

However, I must admit that I have rejoiced Shilpa’s victory like any other Indian would have, but the focus here is on racism not on the victory.

In a country like India where racism prevails within our own people on such a large scale, where the fairness products market is worth a staggering Rs 800 crore, what example are we setting to our younger generation as well as the people outside India ? Is it fair enough to blame the entire west for the racist slurs raised by a few individuals??

Have similar protests be raised (anywhere in the world) when Rohit (Kushal Punjabi) abuses Stephanie (Shannon Esra) and terms as her as a “Blonde Bimbo” in the Bollywood movie SALAAM-E-ISHQ ??? NO !!!

The only reason why “White” is considered superior to “Black”? is the fact that most of the developed countries have white skinned people.

The moment a country starts making economical progress, people stand up to respect its culture, its movies, its people (which has started to happen with India now, and has been happening with the US in the past 50 years).

So the day when the term “White skinned” would be marked as a racist slur is not far, considering the progress India has been making off late…….

What path each one of has to take to make turn this dream to a reality, is the crux of this post, which is unfortunately a missing piece of the puzzle.

PS: Off the record, In the Times matrimonial, I would still hunt for a “Fair girl” and will continue to use Emami’s Fair & Handsome Men’s fairness cream….. [:D]

1. "Ghati” (A derogatory term used to describe people from smaller towns who have vernacular influence on their accents, and fail to match the living standards of people in the bigger cities; Considered to have originated from Maharashtra)

2. “Chinki” (A term associated with people from the North-Eastern States, & a few asian countries (China, Thailand, Malaysia, Singapore, Hongkong)

3. “Madrasi” (A term used to associate people from Madras and every other place down south)

Disclaimer: The opinions and views mentioned in this blog are that of the authors and might have either been influenced by a section in the society or under the influence of alcohol. No individual/community/religion has been targeted either intentionally or unintentionally, any offence taken is purely unintentional, and intentional ones do not deserve any apologies. The author’s views or not biased towards any individual/community/religion. Any objectionable content would be brought to the notice of the author, which would be reviewed and taken off the blog, if found genuinely objectionable.

‘Person’ality Dis’Order Test !!!!!!!!!!!

Though my job has nothing to do with Software testing, load testing, stress testing, black-box testing, white box testing, gorilla testing……, I often try to outsmart Google’s Servers, but I know success is a distinct dream….

Considering the number of fools who try to achieve the impossible, a new term has been coined by Google called Google Whacking.

On my way to achieving the impossible, I stumbled upon a site called http://www.4degreez.com/, which has a computerized test for people who suffer from personality disorders. Though I don’t consider myself affected, I still decided to go ahead and take this test, because of the only reason that I was labeled as a geek/nerd by a few of my friends. (For a non-technical guy everything on this planet is geeky)

With soaring confidence I went ahead and took this test, which I recommend each one of you to take it too here.

After a series of embarrassing, stupid, Unethical questions I finally had my results thrown up on the screen.

My Results:

Disorder	Rating	Information
Paranoid:	High	click for info
Schizoid:	High	click for info
Schizotypal:	High	click for info
Antisocial:	High	click for info
Borderline:	High	click for info
Histrionic:	High	click for info
Narcissistic:	High	click for info
Avoidant:	High	click for info
Dependent:	High	click for info
Obsessive-Compulsive:	High	click for info

http://www.4degreez.com/misc/personality_disorder_test.mv

After the results, I was wondering if I should have taken my English classes more seriously in school/college.

However thanks to Google and a few online dictionaries, I quite some how managed to unveil the hidden mysteries within myself.

Maybe, I took my friends words too seriously………… Or may be he should be taking me more seriously after seeing the results……

PS: I didn’t want to take a gamble by putting up the original result here…..

When cupid strikes disaster

Epilogue

Now having committed a cardinal sin of starting a blog, which requires me to whip my brains (which have been rusty for about years now) in order to post something new. Thanks to the pathetic hits on my blog page, and the few readers who make a mockery out of my posts. I have started to realize that I am by no means a born blogger, and the amount of brain whacking I need to put in to compile a single post, might have earned me a seat in the IITs/IIMs

Well, what inspired me to start a blog of a this kind??, Well having been studying the password characteristics (be it email/windows logon passwords) of my friends and colleagues, (either by peeping over the shoulders, or installing key-loggers), for sometime now and started to wonder why ……... most people stop changing passwords ever since they fell in love for the first time ever. (Nope, I am not into net-forensics or cyber security, nor I am a phisher)

Over a period of 5 year, ever since the days of my graduation I happen to be very close to people who have transformed from sensible/logical individuals to stupid/senseless ones. Yes, Love is a victory of imagination over reality, especially when things are one sided, I always wondered what is it, that creates an delusion which makes the college’s most good looking female stare at you.

I failed miserably inspite of my continuous efforts to convince many of my friends, that when a Girl says “No”, it means a “No” in contrary to the myth that Bollywood has imbibed in most of us.

“I just cannot imagine my life without you………” is quite a monotonous quote often said with utmost loyalty and sincerity. Each one of us is unique in our own ways, and finding a partner for oneself is not as tough as matching a DNA specimen, The whole concept of “Marriages are made in heaven” doesn’t sound too genuine to me, as I certainly believe that the god almighty has better things to do, than fixing up a Abhishek- Aishwarya wedding.

Why is that we choose people as best friends for life in a matter of days/months and take years/ages to choose someone special, or perhaps wait for the almighty to fix up a date.

Reminds me of my ex-colleague, who still believes that the crush he had in college 4 years ago, is/was/would be the only girl in his life, and has completely given up on the idea of marriage.

The crux of this post being, “Be Loyal to your partner in a relationship, not outside it”

I know more than a couple of people who just like many people in their early thirties struggling to find a right match and often having to compromise on lot many things, the right age for marriage is altogether an different debate, which I will surely be touching upon in my next blog.

Most of the people I have come across suffer from the First-Love Syndrome; ask a guy who has been ditched more than once, about life beyond First Love.

It’s easier said than done; arguably it is very difficult to come out of a break-up, especially if it’s been your first one.

There is a first time for everything any anything, your first love, the first job, but there is life beyond every first……………, but how you overcome it, is the big question, unfortunately there is no single common solution that is applicable to every individual.

Or may be Microsoft/Yahoo/Google should be bringing in stringent password policies.